A People Pleasin' Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

A light bulb just went on. . . I’m having one of those AH-HA moments.
I have been struggling with the “loving—serving” biblical concept, and the line that separates “serving people” from “people pleasing” . I have done a lot of reflecting and I have a confession to make… I am a “people pleasin' wolf”, in the sheep’s clothing of a “people server”. What a painful realization!

Here’s the catch, the light bulb moment… if I’m looking, expecting, and hoping for a “thank you” or acknowledgment. . . (you got it didn’t you?) I’m a people pleaser.
When we are “people serving” in the biblical way — all the glory goes to God, and the return comes from God in the form of blessings and heavenly reward. And your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:8)

This is how I finally connected the dots. I was studying love, reading the love chapter in 1Corinthians 13. What kept popping out at me was— love is not self-serving, it does not boast, and it is not proud! Those are not the first three qualities of love we usually think about when someone says ,“I love you”.

I started thinking about (with much cringing) the love I have given. I have given to get, more than I would like to admit. I have given to feel good about myself and to make people happy. What was really in my heart was, “They will know I love them because I’m so thoughtful”. I have been loving and giving, so people would think I'm generous. I have been affectionate, because I wanted affection. I realized if I didn’t get credit, I felt put-out! Wanting and getting credit is definitely self-serving! Proud, is something I always am if I buy a great gift or do a good deed. I can’t wait to tell someone what I’ve done. That is definitely pride and boasting! Even when I clean the house, I am sure to point out to everyone what I have done, as if to say… “ look how I am serving”.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know if I have ever fully loved God's way. I think the reason I have had such a hard time figuring this out, is because the behavior is the same, it is the attitude and motivation that is so different. Would we still love if the person never loved us back, or even returned our love with hate? Don’t we often reject someone who has rejected us? These words, I know I have said, echo in my mind, “if they’re going to treat me that way, forget them! I don’t deserve that kind of treatment!” Ouch! It’s a harsh reality, isn’t it? Are serving and loving any less valuable to God, if it’s rejected? Last week I made a big meal for my family. To make a long story short, no one ate it! I was ticked! I think I was upset because I felt like I had wasted my time and energy for nothing. But in reality, is God any less pleased with my serving if they don’t eat it? I still served. I think maybe God values our service even more when it’s rejected.

I think of Jesus . . . Jesus is our example — he loved and served with everything he had, even his life. He was rejected, spit on and ridiculed, but that didn’t stop him from giving us the ultimate gift of love and service. Jesus died loving and serving us! Jesus took all of our sin and paid the price, as we rejected him! What was Jesus’ response to the rejection? “Father forgive them for they know not what they do!" Now that is love and service! Jesus died, getting nothing in return. The thought of loving like that blows my mind!
One of the reasons I think Jesus is so great, is because he knows I’m dirt (or dust). Jesus doesn’t expect me to do anything on my own — it is the Holy Spirit that helps us in our weakness. It’s only through the Spirit that we have any hope at all! On my own, I could never love like Jesus, but with Jesus' help, I have something to strive for — loving and serving for God’s glory alone! Happy Valentine’s Day

My Purpose is to Experience God

My journey continues. . . What exactly am I doing here anyway, what’s the point?

My life has been difficult in every aspect-- my health, marriage, friends, church, kids, and family, have had major challenges. I think the point God has been trying to prove to me is, He is enough for me. God alone is my security, he alone is my rock and my identity.

I was brought to a point of desperation, of total emptiness, so God could fill me up with Him, to prove to me his ways are better than my ways (Isaiah 55:8). I came to the end of myself and realized I needed God in a much bigger, deeper, fully dependent way. I needed God alone. I wanted to not just know God, but to experience Him.

I began searching God’s word. I was tired of trying to figure out what I needed! I decided to find out what God wanted to give me. So, I put down my grocery list of wants, and picked up God’s list of promises. I started praying Scripture.

I can’t even find the words to express the transformation that has taken place! As I stopped focusing on me, and chose to focus on God’s Word. God spoke to me in a whole new way. The tears drip down my face— I am overwhelmed by God’s grace, his peace, His love, and His forgiveness in this journey. My heart is overflowing with thanksgiving and praise! My purpose is to know and experience God. I have found what I was desperately searching for: the experience of God, His living, breathing, speaking, presence!

Oh Lord, your benefits, I will not forget. You have forgiven my sin. You have redeemed my life from the pit of loneliness and despair. You have crowned me with love and compassion. You have satisfied my desires with You, Your good things. You have renewed my youth and my strength (My prayer of Psalms 103: 2-5).

The things I was searching for, were not things at all! God is enough!

Oh Lord, you have turned my wailing (and boy have I done a lot of wailing) into dancing! You have removed my garments of self-centeredness and self-pity, and you clothed me with joy. My heart sings to you, it cannot be silent! Lord God, I will give you thanks for ever!
( my prayer from Psalms 30: 11 –12)

Oh sisters, let me tell you, God longs to be gracious to you. He will rise to show you compassion (Isaiah 30: 18). When the things in life are too much to bear, God is there to carry them for you. Dear sisters pray the word — God will speak to you in a whole new, amazing, life transforming, fabulous way! Our purpose is to know and experience God!

You may be wondering — what’s happening in my earthly life? Every circumstance is pretty much the same, there are still challenges on every front. So. . . what has changed? Now I have the peace of God that transcends all understanding, and it guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4: 7).

I now have the joy of the Lord as my strength and as I find more joy in Jesus, I find more strength. Therefore we do not lose heart; though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly, we are being renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4: 6). I may be outwardly wasting away, yet inwardly I am being renewed! What a glorious feeling, even in the midst of crisis all around me, I focus on God and am inwardly renewed! I found my purpose! Oh sisters find Jesus — he is your purpose, and experiencing Him is the greatest, most fulfilling, joyful, strengthening, life-giving adventure you will ever know.

God never promises easy, only to never leave you or forsake you (Deut.31:6). May you experience God’s love, although it is so great you will never fully understand it, then you will be filled with the fullness of life and the power that comes from God. Ephesians 3: 19

Pray, Sisters, Pray. . . Bask in the experience of God!

The Armor Of God-- from "My Personal Prayer"

This is why you must take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand. Therefore, with truth like a belt around your waist, righteousness like armor on your chest, and your feet sandaled with readiness for the gospel of peace-- ready to go tell others about the gospel. In every situation take the shield of faith, and with it you will be able to extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is God’s word.
With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the Spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints. Ephesians 6:18 HCSB

My Prayer . . .

Lord, I pray that today. . . .

•Salvation would cover my head like a helmet. I am Yours.

•Righteousness & obedience to you would cover me like armor.

•That your truth would surround me like a belt, that I would always speak truth and not be deceived by lies.

•That I would hold high my shield of faith; knowing you work all things together for the good of those who love you.

•Arm me with the sword of your Spirit; your word, put your word in my heart, so that I might be able to demolish arguments and pretensions that set themselves against the knowledge of God.

•Sandal my feet with peace, so wherever I go I would walk in peace and pursue peace, sharing the gospel.

Lord prepare me today to do your will and serve you. I take my stand in the Spirit, suited with the full armor of God, and in prayer.

A Seed, My Journey Part 1

I have been on a journey— trying to figure out who I am. Like so many moms, I let life take over and I became consumed by home, kids and life. Then one day I realized, "I don’t know who I am anymore"! What was my purpose beyond meals, house cleaning and homework? That’s when the journey started. So… This is part of my journey, what I have learned—

I am a seed. Hang with me, and I will explain.

Seeds are really amazing! They hold all the information to grow a tree, or bush, or flower. Everything is in there! WOW! They look so unimpressive, they are small, brownish and dry, and yet have so much potential.

God’s creation is so incredible, and we are apart of that creation! Like the seed, we have been given a purpose, and the potential to grow into something great--everything we need is already in us. He has equipped us with gifts and talents--he has designed us to produce the fruit he wants, and to serve the purpose he chose.

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Now as you know, a seed doesn’t do anything on it’s own. A seed needs to be planted, watered, it needs to be fed by the nutrients in the soil. Just like the seed, we also need to be planted, watered and fed. God has purposed for us, like the seed, to bear good fruit with His nurturing.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- John15:16

So… What have I learned? We are amazing seeds! God has equipped us with the potential to bear good fruit for Him. God has given each of us gifts and talents (and challenges). It’s not about us, it’s about God, who God has created to serve him, who God has created for His glory.

Let me tell you, I am tired of being a small, brown, dry seed! I’m ready to see what this small unimpressive seed will grow into for His glory, under His nurturing hand. I am digging my roots down deep into the soil of God’s love, His word, and prayer. I can already feel the leaves beginning to sprout!

And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. Ephesians 3:17

Be still and know

Be still and know I am God. Even as the wind, earthquakes and fire of life rage around you, I am the quiet whisper... the still small voice. Do not run, scream and hide, I am with you where you are. You will find quietness in the mist of the chaos. I am the peace that transcends all understanding. In my presence is the quietness you desire. Be still and know I am God. You will find rest and comfort, tranquility for your soul, even as life seems to spin out of control. I am God, I am the truth,the way and the life. It is not for you to know the whys and the hows. It is enough for you to know the Who. You cry and beg in turmoil! Peace, peace, peace, be still, I am He. I am the quiet place you are looking for. I have put your feet upon the rock, now rest in me. Be still and know Me, and my will will follow. Close your eyes and you will see, the peace you seek is found in me.