A People Pleasin' Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

A light bulb just went on. . . I’m having one of those AH-HA moments.
I have been struggling with the “loving—serving” biblical concept, and the line that separates “serving people” from “people pleasing” . I have done a lot of reflecting and I have a confession to make… I am a “people pleasin' wolf”, in the sheep’s clothing of a “people server”. What a painful realization!

Here’s the catch, the light bulb moment… if I’m looking, expecting, and hoping for a “thank you” or acknowledgment. . . (you got it didn’t you?) I’m a people pleaser.
When we are “people serving” in the biblical way — all the glory goes to God, and the return comes from God in the form of blessings and heavenly reward. And your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:8)

This is how I finally connected the dots. I was studying love, reading the love chapter in 1Corinthians 13. What kept popping out at me was— love is not self-serving, it does not boast, and it is not proud! Those are not the first three qualities of love we usually think about when someone says ,“I love you”.

I started thinking about (with much cringing) the love I have given. I have given to get, more than I would like to admit. I have given to feel good about myself and to make people happy. What was really in my heart was, “They will know I love them because I’m so thoughtful”. I have been loving and giving, so people would think I'm generous. I have been affectionate, because I wanted affection. I realized if I didn’t get credit, I felt put-out! Wanting and getting credit is definitely self-serving! Proud, is something I always am if I buy a great gift or do a good deed. I can’t wait to tell someone what I’ve done. That is definitely pride and boasting! Even when I clean the house, I am sure to point out to everyone what I have done, as if to say… “ look how I am serving”.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know if I have ever fully loved God's way. I think the reason I have had such a hard time figuring this out, is because the behavior is the same, it is the attitude and motivation that is so different. Would we still love if the person never loved us back, or even returned our love with hate? Don’t we often reject someone who has rejected us? These words, I know I have said, echo in my mind, “if they’re going to treat me that way, forget them! I don’t deserve that kind of treatment!” Ouch! It’s a harsh reality, isn’t it? Are serving and loving any less valuable to God, if it’s rejected? Last week I made a big meal for my family. To make a long story short, no one ate it! I was ticked! I think I was upset because I felt like I had wasted my time and energy for nothing. But in reality, is God any less pleased with my serving if they don’t eat it? I still served. I think maybe God values our service even more when it’s rejected.

I think of Jesus . . . Jesus is our example — he loved and served with everything he had, even his life. He was rejected, spit on and ridiculed, but that didn’t stop him from giving us the ultimate gift of love and service. Jesus died loving and serving us! Jesus took all of our sin and paid the price, as we rejected him! What was Jesus’ response to the rejection? “Father forgive them for they know not what they do!" Now that is love and service! Jesus died, getting nothing in return. The thought of loving like that blows my mind!
One of the reasons I think Jesus is so great, is because he knows I’m dirt (or dust). Jesus doesn’t expect me to do anything on my own — it is the Holy Spirit that helps us in our weakness. It’s only through the Spirit that we have any hope at all! On my own, I could never love like Jesus, but with Jesus' help, I have something to strive for — loving and serving for God’s glory alone! Happy Valentine’s Day